May 17, 2018

The Infamous War Child

ATTENTION: Part one is a draft I wrote a while ago. Part two is an update. Something brilliant happened. Enjoy.


I have been meaning to talk about the War Child for quite some time now. Hers was among the first lands I visited. The War Child's name was Skyclad, (sometimes referred to as Skyclad-Niall or Morphine Malaise). Here is her story as best I can decipher:

Skyclad is an author. She penned three separate blogs, my favorite being War Child ( In this blog she posted many short stories, poems, and revelations. It was obvious by the archives I found that hers was a soul birthed from battle and feud. It was clear that she had seen many things that no child ought to, and her written works make beautiful the hardships she had experienced.

In an effort to escape, Skyclad fled to a mysterious land called "Pan Historia" ( Pan Historia is such a curious place that I think it deserves its own blog post. With that in mind, I will keep the summary brief. Pan Historia is a site dedicated to collaborative fiction and roleplay writing. It was here that Skyclad wrote many works and dedicated many hours.

The difficulty in all this is that those who dwell at Pan Historia are incredibly difficult to track. The use of pseudonyms is employed as well as keeping any personal writing in character. Though I am an expert tracker, I was still unable to uncover the identity of the mysterious War Child. I was able to triangulate her location to Ontario, Canada. The trail went cold after that.

Skyclad's writing is some of the most brilliant I've seen. She began her journey in 2008 and mysteriously disappeared in 2011. I've been tempted to electronically mail her and inquire as to whether she is still writing, but I figured that would be ill-advised as her blog is a sliver of who she once was, and is not representative of whom she is now.

"You can't open up the story of my life, turn to page 738, and think you know me." -Arin Hanson

I encourage you to read up on the writings of the War Child. I'm sure you will find it an enriching experience. And if any of you know her identity, please send her my best wishes.


Something absolutely brilliant happened. While part one was sitting in my drafts, I was assembling another draft titled, "Authors of Dead Blogs Whom I Have Considered Contacting". (It was simply a list of dead-blog authors and any contact information I managed to find. Please let me know if you would be interested in having that list published, by the way.) I had the great War Child at the top of the list and decided to revisit her Pan Historia account for curiosities sake.

After careful navigation of her many works, I found that two of her accounts had both been accessed within the last month, leading me to believe that she was still present on the site. In the name of art, culture, and curiosity, I infiltrated Pan Historia and made an account of my own. Miraculously, I was able to make contact with her Skyclad Niall account. I thanked her for her wondrous written-works and asked her if she was still actively writing. This was her reply:

"I am still writing actively. *S* Use the name Sky here of late. True, my blogger account has long been inactive. *S*"

The great bard is still at large, and the kingdom can rejoice. Thank you for joining me on this little journey of intrigue. If you wish to see Skyclad's work on the odd world of Pan Historia, here are the links to her various characters (in ascending order of activity).

Long live the Prince

May 10, 2018

Windows are Eyes to the Soul (Another Blogger Mystery)

This is perhaps one of the greatest Blogger mysteries to date. I have been cross-referencing countless blogs to gather the data and the pieces still aren't quite in place. It boggles the mind how many players in this crazed game there are!

I seem to have jumped the gun. Allow me to start at the beginning: This post is about Aurora, author of the blog "A Window Apart" ( Here is her story as best I can decipher:

Aurora, (also known as Aurora-CW), is a young woman belonging to a family of five; her mom, dad, and two sisters--of which she was the proverbial blacksheep. Her family belongs to Romanian aristocracy, and her family moved from Romania to Hollywood when she was fairly young. Her large mansion in Romania is where she grew up, and she was initially quite distraught upon moving to Hollywood. She was active on Blogger for only 7 months, (September 2009-April 2010), during which her content consisted of photography, poetry, and beautifully woven illustrations about her life and the discontentment therein.

In her posts, she detailed many aspects of her life. Her family was incredibly wealthy, but she had no affinity for the well-to-do. Her father was kind, but her mother was typically overbearing. Her sisters were the picture-perfect children that made their parents proud while Aurora embarrassed them at all their fancy dinner parties with her antics and lack of class. She had two best friends named Andrei and Catalena. They met in Hollywood, California and had been friends for a long time. Though travel was common for her family, she spent an extended time in Sweden living with a girl named Sara. Andrei helped Aurora produce music under the name Bird Brigade. The music is on her MySpace account, but the audio files seem to be presently unavailable. There are many other things that Aurora details, but that is the bulk of definitive facts. Aurora's last post was on April 7, 2010. In the post, she communicates that she has been sent back to Romania against her will. It is unknown whether she was sent there on her own or if her family collectively moved.

Now you may be thinking, "Your Highness, this just sounds like another dead blog. What makes this so much more mysterious?". A valid question, loyal subject. Allow me to expound. Aurora's blog was not the only one of its kind. Under her blog's list of "The Fabulous", she links 14 blogs of whom she is affiliated/friends with. Five of those blogs are no longer active, and eight of the remaining nine were active and silent around the same time as Aurora's. Most of the blogs had a similar tone. Many of them were rich, depressed, and hedonistic Hollywood girls who hated life and portrayed their suicidal pessimism in poetic ways. All of them were artistic existentialists who also had an affinity for fashion and designer clothes.

Many seemed to be friends either through life or through Blogger. And if you visit the various blogs and the blogs that they link, it forms a massive web of blogs that are all alike. It's mind-blowing how deep this web goes, and even more confusing how or why they seemed to have been born and killed around the same times. Most of them started around 2009 and died around 2011 without any warning. One of her blog friends, Victoria, from "Belle de Hiver" ( ended on the exact same day as "A Window Apart".

Aurora could still be in Romania for all we know, and all these other blogs that have been deleted, privated, or abandoned still pose a great mystery. How could a web so massive with so many similar parts die all of a sudden? The very existence of this blogosphere web is a mystery, let alone its corpse. I encourage you all to dive down the rabbit hole and see what you can infer. It is quite a curious conundrum and I will certainly be preoccupied with it for years to come. If any of you are able to track down any members of this tangled web, I would be quite grateful. Almost every link these people provided are dead or unavailable with no clues as to how/why this interlacing network formed. Your best bet is likely the only active member of this labyrinth that remains: ( Thank you.

Long live the Prince

May 9, 2018

Shoutout to all the Emo Kids

As Prince of the realm, I would like to officially present awards to the top three Emo/Goth/Grunge personal blogs on the internet.

In first place we have Creature Of The Night with her blog "Rain, Trust, and Loyalty" ( Her blog décor, depressing illustrations, and lack of hope have landed her in first place!

In second place we have T.A.R. from the blog "Hear My Voice" ( Both her URL and blog title have such an esoterically emo vibe. She also has earned top marks for her blog's decorum. It was her lack of posts that hindered her from first place, but she is still second by a nose!

And finally, in third place we have Kaitlin from the "My Psychotic Thoughts Unhinged" blog ( Her blog's aesthetic-though somber-was not edgy enough to take her to second place. However, her exquisite content and nihilist attitude has succeeded in landing her a spot in our top three picks!

Thank you to all the emo/goth teens of the internet and the early 2010's for making this possible. Were there any runner-ups we missed? Leave them in the comments below to nominate them for next year's awards! Until next time!

Long live the Prince

May 2, 2018

A Most Curious Conundrum: Murder

A short while ago, I stumbled across a profound mystery. I found an odd little place called "Person" ( This place was conceived in August of 2002. There are but seven, (technically six), posts on this sparse site, and they are ambiguous at best. The only content of note is a post that hosts a dead link.

Through searching the royal archives I was able to find a snapshot of the intended content. It was a brief article describing the mysterious death of singer Dave Williams of the band Drowning Pool. I don't recall the bard from personal experience, but he seems to have been quite popular in his time. The blog author shared this link on the day she created the blog, eleven days after Dave William's death. Though the cause of his death is unverified to this day, it was established that he died in the band's tour bus from heart failure. His heart failure was believed to have been caused by undiagnosed Cardiomyopathy, but nobody is certain.

I think Alicia, the author of the blog, killed David Williams. Now, bear with me for the sake of the fallen bard. Alicia's blog subtitle reads "I love Manson and guys with long hair." Dave Williams had long hair (by male standards). Perhaps she wanted to experience it in person and things went a bit too far. Alicia was only active on Blogger for seven days, and all she appeared to post was the article about William's death and inquires as to why nobody reacted to her posts. Every genius craves an audience for their brilliance; and that goes double for clever killers. She wanted people to see the intelligence required to kill the singer untraceably. Moreover, this "Alicia" character is virtually untraceable.

As you may know, your prince is an expert tracker. Upon stumbling across a little blog from 2006 by a sixteen year old girl who posted only once, (, I managed to find the author's identity within minutes. Not only that, but in the process of finding her identity I found her address and phone number too. (Those were completely accidental.) [As a disclaimer, I'm not a stalker; just a hopeless romantic. I wanted to find this girl because she was smitten with a boy at the time of her post and I wanted to see what became of them. As it turns out, the two are presently married. It's all dreadfully romantic. *SIGH* Ah, to be young and in love again.]

So knowing the expert tracker that I am, please realize now how difficult it is to track down the mysterious "Alicia". She has given virtually no information about herself, her title could be an alias, and her blog has gone these 16 years virtually unnoticed.

So if any of you possess the skills and the gumption required for tracking Alicia, please find her so she can be brought to justice. The kingdom needs your help closing another case. Anyone who can track this potential murderer will be rewarded with a royal bounty. The prince thanks you for your assistance. Rest in peace, Dave Williams.

Long live the Prince

April 25, 2018

R.I.P. The Fallen Blogs

I follow exactly 50 blogs. I have a rule that I can follow only 50 and if I find a new one I have to delete one from my reading list. Of those 50 blogs, only about 6 are still active. I have a fascination with following dead blogs. Each one is a sliver of history; a beautiful graveyard of thoughts. A dead blog is a painting that is representative of what the author was like at the time. I follow these blogs so that I can fall in love with the thoughts of the dead. It serves as a reminder that wherever we are at now is not where we shall remain. Life changes. People change. And these remaining slices of their thoughts and life have become quite endeared to me, like a note from an old friend who is no longer around. I encourage you fellow wanderers to browse these thought-graveyards, and maybe even revisit your own if you have any. Cemeteries not only remind us of where we have been, but where we are going. If you know of any dead blogs I should follow, let me know in the comments. I would love to make an addition to my reading list.

Long live the Prince

April 23, 2018

The Twin Muses of Blogger

As my fifth entry, I believe the time has come to finally write about the two muses of Blogger. These two women were some of my greatest inspirations and served as jesters in my royal court. One of them rose to incredibly great heights and notoriety, while the other's success paled slightly in comparison. Despite that, however, the two muses remained like sisters. They came to this land shrouded in mystery and they left as quietly as they entered. Here are their stories as best I can decipher:

The great muse's name was Allie Brosh, and she was brilliant in every manner but common sense. She lived in a hollow she called Hyperbole And A Half ( She enlightened the kingdom with her ever unique perspective and people would come from miles around to see her. Allie Brosh first came to my kingdom in July of 2009. She entered as a nobody, beginning her content with a complaint about her neighbors. But soon, she began to gain traction and notoriety. By the end of the year, she had acquired quite an unprecedented following. She was both articulate, humorous, and an astounding artist. Her sketches, colors, and characters brought joy to everyone she touched. She even published a book in 2013 and it was officially added to the royal library. Her subjects adored her and she brought joy to all from 2009 to 2013. But all was not well in paradise. There is much that is known in regard's to Ms. Brosh's disappearance, but a few verified events are accepted as contributing factors. First, Allie broke up with her long-running boyfriend Duncan and pursued another gentleman later in life. Next, Allie's sister died from a car-accident in 2014, causing much emotional turmoil. Also, throughout much of Allie's adult years she had struggled immensely with depression and severe apathy, (as is evident from her work). Lastly, Allie was to have another book published, but the release date was postponed indefinitely. Very little is known about Allie Brosh's whereabouts following her disappearance after October 2013, (besides the fact that she likely still lives in Bend, Oregon). All that is certain is that when she left this land, it lost much of its life-force. Bit-by-bit this land has been dying, and Allie's disappearance was potentially the worst calamity to strike this place. Her followers remain loyal and we have our fingers crossed hoping she will at least send us a goodbye letter. She left the kingdom under cover of night, and we never got to pay our respects to the only muse of the kingdom to reach the maximum number of followers. We miss you alot, and we miss you too Allie Brosh. Your fellow wolf-pack hopes you're okay. If you ever think to give us one last howl, we will be at your side.

The second muse of the kingdom had a notably smaller following, but still managed to bring much joy to our fair land. Her name was Becky and she created a small cottage for herself entitled Steam Me Up Kid ( It was there that she would share her many stories and write plays that would be carried on for ages to come. She began her journey a year earlier than the muse of art & drawing, beginning her ascent in March of 2008. However, it wasn't until 2009 that Becky began to regularly post content. For 3 years she weaved her stories and productions with great hilarity and brought laughter to the recesses of the kingdom, sharing both a friendship and portions of audience with Allie Brosh. Becky was the muse of plays & writing, and she was certainly unchallengeable when it came to drama. But just as she had an early start, she had an early end as well. Becky was silent for roughly six months before posting a notice in 2012 that she would be taking a hiatus. She was kind enough to forewarn her followers by saying that she didn't know when she would be returning, but she has been silent ever since. In a few months time, it will have been 5 years since her somewhat mysterious disappearance. Although, some believe that she has not disappeared, but is just such a procrastinator that she is still on hiatus. (It's only a hiatus if you come back, Becky.) But her great works such as her dead-wasp-plays and her introduction of the kingdom to its new pastime "Hide Juanita" will live on in our hearts and minds. There is a hole in our kingdom without you, Becky. If the Carbon Monoxide begins closing in on you, we will come to rescue you.

These are but two of the kingdom's muses; but years of longing and concern have left my kingdom empty. We wish you only the best, fair muses. Every laugh will bring us a memory of you. And if you ever think to return to our kingdom for but a day to say goodbye, we will celebrate with trumpets and feasting. All of our love. Long live Allie Brosh and Becky.

Long live the Prince

April 20, 2018

The Legend of Eggagog

I had been traveling far and wide in search of my kingdom, when all of a sudden I saw a white rabbit holding a pocket watch. When I inquired to the rabbit regarding directions, he simply fled down a hole in the ground. I pursued him with regal vigor yet I still managed to stumble into the rabbit-hole through which he fled. Tumbling downward and downward I awoke to find myself in the strangest of lands. This land was the sacred realm of Eggagog(

Eggagog was an interesting character. Though widely considered but a legend where I come from, it was clear from the abundance of eggs and nonsense that this was his plain of existence, and I was but a guest. It was in that land that I found archives full of ramblings from the mad scholar.

I was amazed at his innate ability to wield the English language in such beautiful and poetic ways that had been previously undiscovered. According to the records, he began his scholarly pursuits in the year of our Lord 2004. He continued to publish grievances, enlighten the masses, wage wars, and lead rebellions until his mysterious disappearance in 2006.

To date, it has been nearly 12 years exactly since the disappearance of the legendary Eggagog. His writing changed me, and influenced the way I ruled my kingdom. With it being near the 12'th anniversary of the day this miracle was taken from us, I thought it fitting to post a tribute to my royal forum. Never forget this scholar of the ancient days. Bless him, wherever he may be. Long live Eggagog!

Long live the Prince

April 19, 2018

Star-Crossed Lovers

One of the first lands I stumbled across on this site was a blog entitled "Friday Night Dream" ( This blog appears to consist of correspondence between a woman named Valentina and a gentleman called Catatonic. Catatonic is from Portugal and Valentina is assumedly from the United States. These two have been communicating off and on since 2009 after some initial encounter they had in person. Here is their story as best as I can decipher:

Around 2009 before the origin of their blog, they had a brief, passionate romance. However, their homes were separated by an ocean, so they began a blog with the intention of posting to each other on Fridays. They would post song lyrics, poems, and personal messages back and forth throughout the year, and eventually stopped the correspondence in late 2009.

For four years, the couple went radio-silence. But all the while, they would dream of each other and could not shake the passion they felt for one another. In February of 2013, Valentina posted again. Catatonic replied a month later. The couple was very active on the blog for the duration of that year, but communication gradually slowed down until 2014 when Valentina revealed that she had gotten engaged. Whether she was actually wed is unverified, but very likely in perspective of the rest of the blog.

Both the individuals were roughly thirty by this time, and there was but one post form Catatonic in 2015. He missed her greatly, and both agreed that the had never experienced a romance so strong as had been between them. A number of other things occurred that are implied-but not verified-such as them unfriending each other on Facebook and not having any outside communication since 2013; But it seems that Valentina attempted to separate herself from Catatonic, likely on account of her being married and needing to move on.

But there was a bond between the two lovers that not even they could break. In 2016, Valentina revealed that she would enjoy seeing Catatonic again. Catatonic, assumedly still single and missing his woman, conveys just how much he misses her. As of now, there has been no communication between the Friday night dreamers since the end of 2016. That may be subject to change, but one thing is for certain: these two experienced a romance that some can only dream about. If only circumstances hadn't drawn them apart.

I hope to someday find out what happened betwixt them; and I suggest you visit the source yourself, as I can hardly do the romantic beauty justice. Until then.

Long live the Prince

Why I Love Blogger

I love Blogger for a number of reasons. Now many of you rebels may be saying, "Your highness, Blogger is dead. Long live WordPress for it's user-friendly interface, customizability, and easy monetization!" And you're absolutely right. When I first began browsing Blogger, (beginning in the year of our Lord 2018), I saw the many dips in activity over the years and researched the cause. Many people had apparently moved on to Tumblr and WordPress for their blogs. And it makes sense for practical reasons why they would do so. For serious bloggers, it seems only natural to move to a more accommodating platform. And this is why I love Blogger.

Blogger is old, buggy, and mostly forgotten. The majority of people starting on here weren't out to make a blogging career or get rich. Blogger's attitude harkens to the early days of the internet, where not everyone was connected and there was no assurance that anyone would see your content. People would just shout into the vast expanses of the internet just to see if anyone would shout back. It wasn't very viable as a career, and there was no assurance you would receive any notice or attention. And yet, these pioneers did it anyway. That's the true beauty.

Congratulations to the many blog writers who have hit the big time, but I long to see the nobodies of the internet. I want to see people shouting into the void just for the sake of it. It's honest, raw, and beautiful. Unfiltered, non-corporate, independent candor.

Since you all now know why this platform is so endeared to me, I will be sharing in future posts about my various adventures. I have wandered many strange lands on this site, and I hope you will find my discoveries to be engaging.

Long live the Prince


The inaugural post of any blog sets not only the tone for the following content, but characterizes the author as well. Most people do their introductions by stating they're family situation, they're favorite pastimes, and the names of their various pets. I, however, am the farthest thing from cliché. This blog is a journey. I am a lost and wandering soul. Dethroned and banished years ago, I now search for the kingdom that I have long since lost. I shall return to my crumbling kingdom and reclaim my royal throne. Join me as I wander through foreign lands of the mindscape trying to find home.

Long live the Prince


The inaugural post of any blog sets not only the tone for the following content, but characterizes the author as well. Most people do their...