WANTED
KOLD_KADAVR_FLATLINER
(KNOWN ALIAS: BLESSED HOLY SOCKS, THE NON-PERISHABLE-ZEALOT)
REWARD: A KING'S BOUNTY
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This is a gentleman I have run across many times. He exists beyond the farthest reaches of my kingdom. He is an ever-present spirit that you see in the corner of your eye. He is the soul of a man who has seen death's gates, but is as tangibly extant as the clouds of mist that surround us. This is the man who flatlined.
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Cold Cadaver and I have a bit of history together, though we have never spoken with one another. As an avid Blogger browser I have seen the incredibly far reaches of my kingdom through diving down deep rabbit holes. And though I will walk miles and miles away from my castle, I keep seeing this man. Corners of the internet that were left abandoned years ago hold him as their most recent follower. Bloggers who were several blogs removed from people in the Debutante Circle and the Cinderella Society host his face in their recent follower list. I am haunted at every turn by his visage.
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What is even more shocking is the incredible amount of people that this fellow follows. (I have estimated it to be well over 300 and still rising.) I had not the patience to count the many blogs that inhabit his following list, but if you are so inclined you may do so here. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the type of content he subscribes to.
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After tracking down Cadaver's official profile, I learned quite a lot about him. I learned that he likely gets his handle from the fact that he was in a catastrophic accident when he was 15 years old and stared death in its pale, gaunt face. But more importantly, I learned that this flatliner has 20-25 blogs that all appear to host the ramblings of a mad man. I mean no ill-will towards Cold Cadaver, but his writings-both in format and in content-persist in leaving me flummoxed.
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Kold_Kadavr_Flatliner is a wanted man; not because he has committed a crime, but because he is indeed an enigma. If anyone knows this kind accountant from Topeka, Kansas, I would love to know what made him this way.
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Long live the King
In case anyone was wondering, I did eventually grow bored enough to count how many blogs this man follows. It took me some time & math, but it should be fairly accurate, (accounting plus or minus 100 for error, of course).
ReplyDeleteThe grand total of blogs that Kold_Kadavr_Flatliner follows amounted to: 4,860 blogs! I am absolutely dumbfounded. I think that has to be some sort of record...